But some trolls and lowlife mental cases refuse to believe that I am friends with Johnny Depp. Well I don't have to prove myself to those tweeds. I do have proof mine you, I have a picture of Johnny Depp waving to my sister Jeanette. That's proof positive but I'm not showing it to you trolls. You will just use logic and science to call me a liar and say I shit my pants. In full disclosure I do lie and shit my pants quite often, but that's beside the point.
But anyway howlies, amusingly Johnny Depp isn't my only celebrity friend. So I decided to post my proof of these other celebrities. Rock hard solid, doodoo proof, that's right howlies, here are pictures of celebrities waving at Jeanette.
First up in Country and western singer Taylor Swift. As most of you howlies know I dated Taylor Swift for several years. Unfortunately she went to Europe to learn a different country to sing. While she was there she heard that someone in America had died, and naturally assumed it was me. When she found I was still alive she wanted to rekindle our romance but unfortunately the gap between her thighs wasn't wide enough for a stud muffin like myself. Still she is my soul mate and I have a tattoo of "Taylor" on my taint. I wonder if Taylor Lautner is busy?
 |
| Taylor Swift waving at Jeanette |
Next up is my sexy BFF # 2, Brad Pitt and here he is waving at Jeanette. He's mad at me now because I made sexy time smooches with Angelina and she divorced him.
 |
| Brad Pitt waving at Jeanette
Well Howlies, I bet you didn't know I was great friends with the president of the United States Barry Obama. You see he needed help writing his State of the Union. He wasn't a big fan of America and needed help to knock it out. My good friend Joe Biden introduced us and we spent a week in a hotel room knocking things till he was finished, I mean till we were finished. Here is President Obama waving at Jeanette
|
 |
| Idris Elba waves at Jeanette |
Next up is my good friend and director Derek Young. Derek Co wrote and directed my movie Psychoholoic States. We have shard many memories and dark bedrooms, swapping ideas and body fluids. Here is a picture of Derek waving at Jeanette.
 |
| Derek Young waves at Jeanette |
While Jeanette and I were walking, well she was walking I was riding my rascal, we ran into this young black man who insisted on waving at Jeanette. I started screaming for the police to come and shoot him, but he begged me to stop and said he was an usher or something. Well Howlies I have the utmost respect for ushers and other people in the entertainer field. I myself was once the assistant weekend nights associate concessions manager at a theater in my youth. So I pepper sprayed the hooligan and wished him well. Here is a picture of an usher waving at Jeanette.
 |
| An Usher waves at Jeanette |
Here is my good friend and African American actress Jessica Alba waving at Jeanette. She is black isn't she howlies? Or something. I don't know but I do drool over her boobies. But then again I droll over a lot of things. Basically i just drool a lot, and shit myself. Here's Jessica Alba waving at Jeanette
 |
| Jessica Alba waves at Jeanette |
I have been friends with Bobby D-Nero for a long, long time howlies. He truly is my mentor and BFF, and I taught him how to act. He taught me how to spit. Here's a picture of him waving at Jeanette. After the picture he punched Jeanette in the face for being a mook. I told Jeanette not to be a mook!
 |
| Robert Deniro waving at Jeanette |
Even though he died back in 2012, my old friend horror Bob likes to come and visit me and post on Facebook. The last time he brought the King of Pop Michael Jackson back with him. It seems the King of Pop wanted to meet the King of Splatterpunk so bad he broke though the gates of hell. Plus he heard I loved to hang around with pedophiles. See pedophiles go to hell David!!! However here is Michael Jackson waving at Jeanette.
 |
| Michael waves at Jeanette |
No comments:
Post a Comment